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I started listing off the times we had been approached about adoption and it had never been right. Before taking the time to do that, I likely would have told you the number was astronomical. It seems like so many missed connections. It was just under seven—an encouraging number below seven. He knew we were there in the wait and trying to lean in and listen.
So, for the past few months, as I have seen Elijah references pop up, my ears have perked up. As he started in on it this morning, I got my old notes and re-read while I listened. I flipped back to my new notes and kept jotting. It was pouring down rain this morning, which seemed fitting. This time, instead of simply talking about sending the servant seven times to check for rain, Pastor was more focused on what Elijah was doing in this time.
He was on his knees, with his face between his knees. He knew the rain would come. As Pastor illustrated that with a few moments of awkward silence, it was resonating so much.
Just me and God in a quiet room, with nothing to do but hold on to the faith that I know we will someday have another child to call ours. Tears streamed down my face as I wrote that. On the heels of what could have been discouraging news Friday, God was using this message to remind me that He is still good. He still keeps His promises. Did I mention we saw three rainbows in two days last week as well? What the devil would use to discourage us and bring us down, we can see as just another stepping stone in our path. As we served second service, the worship leader began one song with a reference to Elisha new prophet here—the apprentice of Elijah—part of the story in Greater.
And it took me back—to a time where I was broken, hurting, and grieving in the late summer, early fall of In August of , my brother-in-law passed away.
It was a tough kind of grief for me to process—different than anything I had been through. The week of his birthday just under a month later, still in I had the opportunity to go to a conference in South Carolina with other leaders from our church. While there, I received such a word of God and a ton of peace.
In a room of thousands, it was as though God was speaking directly to me. When I was flipping through my notes from church after we got home, I also flipped to 1 Kings 17 and started from when Elijah announced the drought. I read through to 1 Kings 19 where Elisha burns his plows. Once I finished the passage, I headed for the highlights in my copy albeit electronic of Sun Stand Still.
It should also be noted I almost never make highlights in books. I read through them all. I only needed additional context for a few. And it illustrates a fundamental principle of audacious faith: Paul said it more plainly in 2 Corinthians 5: Gray was in the chair watching football when I sat down on the couch to lay it all out. I started out a little all over the place, but I finally got there. So basically, the long and short of it is this. In a time of major grief and processing, we both read a book with the story of Elijah and Elisha.
Now, within the span of less than a year, two different messages about Elijah have given me a little more clarity into the journey we are on. The boy will turn eight this month, so to say this path has been long or short is relative. Some years we just keep it simple ; I try to avoid anything that will just sit around, though. Last year, about the time Teacher Appreciation Week rolled around, I realized I needed a questionnaire of some sort to give to each of his teachers you can see some of what we went with for this year here.
That brings me to today, when I finally had time to create such a thing. I know some will be uncomfortable with the idea of it, but we really do want to honor them and show our appreciation. Print a copy of the questionnaire here. Feel free to pin or share as well!
As much as I love lazy summer days and the spontaneity of it all, I also crave a little structure. I got an email this morning from Mary at Trusty Chucks with their summer checklist, and it inspired me to create one that works for our needs. My biggest goal with it is to hold myself accountable. This puts us both on the same page. He has tasks to complete, and I have to check the completion. This is acting as a jumping off point to move from. Those things are still true today, but today something is weighing on my heart much heavier.
As we sat down to our anniversary lunch date earlier—no phones, no child, no distractions, we began talking about life, love, death, infidelity, growing, and on and on. The more we talked, the more weepy I grew. I was just weepy. Thinking of broken marriages, broken spirits, broken hearts, and broken homes hurts me to my core. If you have been around this place for any period of time, you know that we are advocates for strong marriages. You know that we prioritize each other, date night, and our marriage above other earthly relationships. As we talked through that this afternoon, we got around to depression, suicide, and mental illness in general.
Our anniversary is shared with the birthday of my cousin who died by suicide when I was eight. See, when by brother-in-law died, it was a kind of grief I have never known. It was different than any other thing I have felt. I shared a little after the death of Robin Williams , but again, the timing was only coincidental to how I was feeling in light of the news. This morning, I told Mr. He refuted; telling me that the impact on my was still mine, regardless of who it was or the circumstances.
And saw that now the boy would be missing school and I would be missing work. On the heels of what could have been discouraging news Friday, God was using this message to remind me that He is still good. I usually create a list in my phone that plans out the month so I know I have enough of what I need when we get to it. Gray Baldwin Bridget Moynahan Charlie Kelsey Tom Cavanagh Within days, I received another email from them with the new information.
Just like with any other grief, everyone processes it differently, but for me, it was incomparable to anything else. An effort to be commended. Years ago, I read that it was a struggle similar to those who jumped out of the burning buildings on That will look different for everyone, but it can be as simple as a cup of coffee or a text message. Be mindful of others. Check in with your friends. Love people like Jesus would.
He went everywhere with us for quite some while: I remember crying most of the weekend the first time we boarded him. I cried the first time he was groomed, too—they butchered the top of his head!
He had a Houdini stint which I actually wrote about six years ago to the day yesterday that ended in lots of drives home due to our doggie door we thought we had done so great by purchasing. I can see it so clearly in my head.
Shortly after that post, he made his way out on his own terms, just as he always had when there was a gun shot, a vacuum cleaner, or a power tool making more noise than he cared for. As my sweet husband dug a hole for him this afternoon under the tree outside our bedroom window, it started to rain.
Well, first of all, it was gifted to me many years ago. Second of all, why not? Make it work for your family. I usually create a list in my phone that plans out the month so I know I have enough of what I need when we get to it. Hi, my name is Teddy; You might not remember. This summer has found us spending more time in our camper and less time in hotels. One of our favorite trips so far this summer was to Jellystone Park in Kerrville.
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