Girlfriend lets talk about it

Having "The Talk" With Your Girlfriend

She also dealt with the not-compliment "you're pretty cute for a Black girl. And piggybacked onto that is "I've never been with a Black girl before", to which Alice responds: And later, one of my complaints with her was she didn't take Feenie to the mat for having ditched her. In fact, she spent a great deal of the book thinking it was her fault. Where have we heard this before? Anyway, back to Takumi. He babysits his twin nieces, is kind of a health nut cooking genius and somehow manages to get Alice into doing things like paragliding.

Unfortunately the closer they become, the more confused and scared Alice becomes. The elephant in the room is her asexuality and she has no idea if it will end what feels right to her. And as much as her best friend Feenie is truly ride or die, there were times I wanted to snatch that girl's ponytail and put some common sense in her. Then again, true best friends can fight one minute then be ready to bury a body the next. That's Alice and Feenie. Of course, the book is chock full of diverse characters who are fully realized.

Alice's struggle to understand herself and to find what makes her happy is something we can all relate to, regardless of what the character looks like. Too bad some readers see "Black character" and think "oh it's probably going to have street slang and I can't relate though I just finished a book about a wealthy shape-shifting vampire dominant.

To tell you how much I loved this book, I'm purchasing the hardcover to sit nicely on my physical PoC on the Covers bookshelves. I love looking at all that wonderful diversity and thinking how far we've come, as well as the journey we still need to take. Why the fight for WeNeedDiverseBooks and ownvoices has to continue. Needless to say, there are more books featuring awesome PoC heroines, so this year will be awesome! A beautiful, dark-skinned black girl with an afro.

She's in a dress! Joy radiates from this cover and it's one of my favorites of I'd pick up the book for the cover alone. Now let's talk about the story. Alice is a biromantic asexual.

Having "The Talk" With Your Girlfriend - AskMen

She's smart and confused and deeply loving, and she's simply an amazing character. I loved her voice, her thoughts, the way she moved through the world. She falls hard for her co-worker, who is also brown! A possible interracial relationship where one of the partners isn't white? I love seeing a book about a black girl that doesn't involve slavery, basketball, gangs, drugs, and all the other typical Black Pain Narratives.

This is not to say those stories are not needed or important. But sometimes, a girl's problems are what to major in. How to please her parents. What to do about the boy she may or may not be crushing hard on. How to do all of the above and still be true to herself and her happiness. Sometimes, a girl just wants to Be without being a Lesson.

Let's Talk About It - Q&A - break up

It's amazing and wonderful to see a black, queer girl written by a black author get to explore the things we've seen in mostly white contemporaries for years and years, and I enjoyed this book so, so, so much. I desperately want more from this author. I love Alice so much.

I love her trying to figure out how to grow up, choose what she wants to do, maintain the friendships and family relationships she cares about, navigate various kinds of attraction and potential romantic relationships and what she wants in that regard. I love how she feels about her job, how she relates to TV shows and movies and that she writes about them!

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She's a really well-written character, she feels like she has history that you mostly don't feel like you're missing because it's integrated well , and I want to give her all the hugs. Feenie feels like few other characters I've read, and I'm so glad Alice has her. I don't know that I was fully satisfied with their relationship arc in the book, but Feenie is a delight and important in so many ways. Ryan is a sweetheart, and I appreciated that Alice has a relationship with him that's not just through Feenie.

Moschoula is a very minor character, but every time she appeared was great. We got a lot of Essie at the library early, and I was disappointed when there was a long stretch of the book without her and the library. Alice's family relationships are complicated. I liked where her relationship with her parents goes. Her relationships with Aisha and Adam, her siblings, are more static and not addressed as much. There's a lot of avoidance, and it doesn't have the ending that the parental relationship does.

I really appreciated that people weren't default white; Kann consistently described skin color. I liked the ways that race came up because it matters in both Alice and Takumi's lives. Despite what I said about history earlier, there are a lot of events within the timeline of the book that happen off-screen. Alice and Takumi do lots of things together, and there's an exercise Alice talks about doing for her counselor that we don't see.

don't feel pressured

This could be fine, but it ends up feeling like a lot, and some of it is important. It also makes it really hard to keep track of time; the book manages to feel both like too much and too little within a single summer. Before I talk about the ace representation, a major warning for ace readers: The first chapter is the breakup scene mentioned in the blurb. It is very real in many ways, and even without having experienced most of those anti-ace reactions myself, it was an incredibly rough read.

Please be prepared and take care of yourself. Alice remembers some other anti-ace stuff she dealt with in detail in the next couple of chapters, but after that it's not very present. All of it is called out. I also want to note that one of the anti-ace statements is calling Alice "the Corpse. Alice is biromantic asexual.

She thinks about the spectrum through the book but doesn't change IDs. She feels arousal at one point, but she mostly ends up thinking it wasn't sexual attraction. She specifically refers to herself as queer at one point. She feels aesthetic attraction and romantic attraction, both of which are named. She also loves cuddling, so she feels contact attraction, but that's not named. She likes cuddling, hugging, and kissing.

It becomes clear to both of you that this person could really use your professional help; he really should be your customer. At one point he says, "So how can you help me? Can we do some work together?

In essence, he has asked, "let's talk about us. In dating relationships, this statement is often seen as either a welcome opportunity to move a relationship forward or as a frightening ultimatum for someone who is not ready to commit. When a prospective customer says it to you, it's definitely a welcome opportunity. I refer to this as a "relationship conversation," when a sales conversation evolves to the point where you and the prospect can start discussing how you can work together.

Transitioning to a relationship conversation is a necessary part of the sales process. As noted above, it's most effective when your prospect brings up the idea of working together. But what if a person who "should" be your customer doesn't bring up the relationship conversation?

Where did it come from, and why does it annoy me so much?

How can you do it? Ideally, if you've been ditching the pitch and conducting an effective sales conversation with your prospect, in which most of the focus has been on his business and not on what you want to sell, this prospect should be having thoughts about working with you, even if he hasn't mentioned it. If this is true, your role in bringing up a relationship conversation is to "confirm" something he is already thinking. What is it he is already thinking? Well, if he is thinking about working with you, you can rest assured that he is not thinking about the depth of your product line or that you've "been in business since ," i.

No, he is not thinking about you. He is thinking about how he could benefit by working with you. Therefore, if you introduce a relationship conversation, you will most likely be successful if you frame the idea of a relationship in terms of how it could benefit him. You want to avoid like the plague anything that seems self-serving to you, such as the old sales stand-by, "I will do anything to earn your business. He cares only about how he will benefit by doing business with you.

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