Friendships are an important part of life, but many of us find it difficult to find, make or keep friends This page has been produced in consultation with and approved by: Content on this website is provided for information purposes only. Information about a therapy, service, product or treatment does not in any way endorse or support such therapy, service, product or treatment and is not intended to replace advice from your doctor or other registered health professional.
The information and materials contained on this website are not intended to constitute a comprehensive guide concerning all aspects of the therapy, product or treatment described on the website. All users are urged to always seek advice from a registered health care professional for diagnosis and answers to their medical questions and to ascertain whether the particular therapy, service, product or treatment described on the website is suitable in their circumstances.
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All couples experience problems and challenges in their relationships. There are many things you can do to help build healthy and happy relationships and prepare for the challenges along the way. You need to be aware of how they are changing and adapt to those changes.
If problems become too difficult or complex, consider seeking the help of a counsellor. Working at a relationship Most couples want to have a successful and rewarding relationship, yet it is normal for couples to have ups and downs. Tips for a successful relationship Tips that may help you improve your relationship and be better prepared to meet the challenges along the way include: If you have something to bring up, do it gently — going on the attack rarely achieves a positive outcome. Let your partner know that you have heard them before you give them your response.
Remember the positives about your partner — this helps protect your relationship. One critical comment needs five positive comments to counteract its effect. Think carefully before criticising. Saying sorry or touching your partner in a caring manner shows you care, even though you disagree. Spend time together — make your relationship a priority and make time for each other, even if you have to book it in.
Work on feeling good about yourself — this will help the way you feel about your relationship. Accept and value differences in others, including your partner. We often choose people who have qualities and abilities we would like more of. This is one of the reasons why our relationships offer us significant opportunities to grow and develop as people. Remind yourself of this. Make plans — set goals for your relationship and plan for your future. This shows that you are both in the relationship for the long term.
Be supportive — try not to judge, criticise or blame each other; we are all human. Remind yourself that you are a team, and in order for the team to be successful, you each have to cheer the other on. Learn from arguments — accept that arguments will happen, and try to resolve them with respect. In arguments, we sometimes become overwhelmed and this often leads to behaviours that harm our relationship.
Stay calm during disagreements — or if this is not possible, take time out. Your partner is more likely to acknowledge their contribution if you do the same. Be sexually considerate — be affectionate sometimes a lingering kiss or a warm hug are just as important. Accept that individuals have different sex drives and to sustain a healthy and happy sex life requires negotiation.
Be attentive — demonstrate your commitment to the relationship.
It is what you do for someone that tells them that you love them. We tend to give our partner what we hope to receive but they may prefer another form of affection. Do they like gifts, quality time with you, a note or a cooked meal? Once you know what they like, make an effort to provide it. Enjoy yourself — have fun and celebrate your life together. Rituals can enhance your relationship.
Fun activities are like glue. Be flexible — let your relationship grow and adapt as you both change. Share power — ensure that each of you feels that your opinion counts. Research shows that relationships where the female partner feels that she can influence her partner are the most successful. Seeking help for relationship problems If there is something in your relationship that is difficult or painful to talk about to each other, consider seeing a counsellor.
Services and programs are available nationally Tel. Family violence can be physical, sexual, psychological, emotional, economic, spiritual or legal abuse. All family violence is illegal and unacceptable The sooner a person with a mental illness receives treatment, the better the outcome is likely to be There are personal and relationship services available to you that offer counselling and relationship advice When you, your partner or someone in your family has a mental illness, it can cause stress and worry for everyone The St Kilda Crisis Contact Centre offers support, information and referrals to people who are in difficult situations Social workers are trained to help people experiencing a range of issues including family problems, anxiety, depression, crisis and trauma Victoria Legal Aid provides free advice to people with legal problems, focusing on criminal law, family law and some civil law matters Victims of crime in Victoria are entitled to free help and may also obtain victims of crime compensation and receive victim support services This page has been produced in consultation with and approved by: Content on this website is provided for information purposes only.
Information about a therapy, service, product or treatment does not in any way endorse or support such therapy, service, product or treatment and is not intended to replace advice from your doctor or other registered health professional. The information and materials contained on this website are not intended to constitute a comprehensive guide concerning all aspects of the therapy, product or treatment described on the website. All users are urged to always seek advice from a registered health care professional for diagnosis and answers to their medical questions and to ascertain whether the particular therapy, service, product or treatment described on the website is suitable in their circumstances.
Please enable JavaScript in order to get the best experience when using this site. Seniors Online Victorian government portal for older people, with information about government and community services and programs. Navigation Home Close Menu. Conditions and treatments Conditions and treatments. Allergic reaction to packaged food.
Blood and blood vessels. Bones muscles and joints Bones muscles and joints. Foot care - podiatrists. Complementary and alternative care. Healthy living Healthy living. Babies and toddlers Drugs and addictive behaviours.
Older people in hospital — Get well soon. Healthy Eating Healthy Eating. Services and support Services and support. Alcohol and drug services. Carers, caring and respite care services. Child, family and relationship services. Emergency, crisis and support services. End of life and palliative care services. Hospitals, surgery and procedures. Planning and coordinating healthcare. Pregnancy and birth services. Relationships and communication Share show more. Relationships Relationships - Relationship basics Relationships - Developing relationships.
Communication is important in relationships. We need to talk openly and be good listeners.
Most people can learn how to communicate more effectively. Share positive feelings about your partner with them.
It is better to act early if you are having difficulties, rather than waiting for the situation to get worse. Good communication is an important part of all relationships and is an essential part of any healthy partnership. All relationships have ups and downs, but a healthy communication style can make it easier to deal with conflict, and build a stronger and healthier partnership. We often hear how important communication is, but not what it is and how we can use good communication in our relationships.
By definition, communication is the transfer of information from one place to another. In relationships, communication allows to you explain to someone else what you are experiencing and what your needs are. The act of communicating not only helps to meet your needs, but it also helps you to be connected in your relationship. Communicating clearly in a relationship Talk to each other. When you talk to your partner, try to: If the issue you are having is not that important, sometimes let the issue go, or agree to disagree.
Non-verbal communication When we communicate, we can say a lot without speaking. Listening and communication Listening is a very important part of effective communication. Tips for good listening include: It might be better to calm down before you address the issue ask for feedback from the other person on your listening.
Improving communication in a relationship Open and clear communication can be learnt. You can help to improve your communication by: Intimacy is created by having moments of feeling close and attached to your partner. It means being able to comfort and be comforted, and to be open and honest. An act of intimacy can be as simple as bringing your partner a cup of tea because you can tell they are tired being on the same page as your partner.
To improve the way you communicate, start by asking questions such as: What things cause conflict between you and your partner? Are they because you are not listening to each other? What things bring you happiness and feelings of connection? What things cause you disappointment and pain? How would you like your communication with your partner to be different?
Some things are difficult to communicate Most of us find some experiences or topics difficult to talk about. Managing conflict with communication Avoid using the silent treatment. Find out all the facts rather than guessing at motives.
Discuss what actually happened. Learn to understand each other, not to defeat each other. Talk using the future and present tense, not the past tense. Services and programs are available nationally Tel. You want someone who handles emotions the same way you do. John Gottman at the University of Washington has amassed a persuasive body of evidence that meta-emotions are the real signal variable in terms of predicting whether or not a marriage will last. Do you believe you should express anger? Or do you believe in holding it in and waiting for it to fizzle out?
Do you think happiness should be shared but anger should be suppressed? Sharing your meta-emotional style gives you a common emotional template, a common language. With long-term relationships you should be less concerned with characteristics that reduce the likelihood of conflict and pay more attention to finding someone who has a similar style of dealing with conflict.
Because there is always going to be some.
The question is how you deal with those problems. What Gottman has found is that people who have clashing meta-emotional styles, they have a really tough time dealing with conflict. Even minor annoyances tend to become huge fights, because one partner wants to express and the other partner thinks you should hold it in and then all of a sudden it explodes. To learn the 4 most common relationship problems — and how to fix them — click here.
So communication is good. Which leads us to another counterintuitive finding…. According to the scientists, spouses who complain to each other the most, and complain about the least important things, end up having more lasting relationships. In contrast, couples with high negativity thresholds—they only complain about serious problems—are much more likely to get divorced. In a sense, you can look at complaining and fighting in an intimate relationship as just ways of showing you care.
No relationship is trouble-free. To learn how to win every argument, click here.
Infatuation is quick, romantic and easy. He falls in love with her in seconds. He sees her and he just knows. He walks over and starts talking in iambic pentameter. Thinking about soulmates and being obsessed with limerence is very romantic. Her work is filled with all sorts of sad case studies of people who talk about the high and how at a certain point, they realized it was leading them astray.
It was a pure fantasy but it was hard to shake it off. Limerence is chemical fiction. The purest way to distinguish between limerence and love is: Am I saying you should have an arranged marriage? Going into a long-term relationship focused on limerence leads to disappointment. But people in arranged marriages have no such illusions. And so they work. And so it works. Arranged marriages sound weird but they have the right attitude: But if you do the work, it pays off over the long haul.
To learn the science behind how to be a good kisser, click here.