A Dirge For Clowntown

Clowning Around

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Why do Santa's elves like to go to Scotland? What is the secret of the space-time capacitor which allows Santa to come down ever chimney in the world in a single night? Inspector Bozo of Clowntown Homicide investigates the murder of a clown hit in the face with a poisoned custard pie; the Thief of Baghdad attempts to recover a flask in which a magician has imprisoned the Caliph's hiccups; a modern-day order of monks form a professional football team to finance their home for derelicts. Some of the fable stories have magic in them. I know that may sound strange for a mystery story but I wrote them when I was young and foolish and thought you might, if you obeyed the rules of elf economics, use magic.

In one story all magic devices had to be registered with the police. In another magic wands could only be used to turn an object into something of a lesser economic value. Here are the answers to these questions. These are two short series I hope to get back to. The former describes the adventures of two small town amateur detectives, Polly and Wally MacDougal, she a writer of detective stories for children, he a retired college teacher and antiques shop owner. Captain Sunset, the champion of the elderly, is a hero designed by a committee of senior citizens to fight crime.

Still more of the quiz: What was the favorite drink of Hippity H. Hopp, the rabbit p. What did his middle initial stand for?

Name his loyal sidekick? Two or three years later he and his family died in an airliner crash returning back. As it happened, his sister and her husband were about to leave for Spain and would be gone for three months. They suggested I babysit their house while they were gone and this I did.

Marietta is a small town of 2, to 3, people on the banks of the Susquehanna River, the longest unavailable [closed to boats] river in the US. Dickens crossed it in a stage coach in his first trip to the US. Though only ten miles downriver from Three Mile Island, I think the town is a charming one. After a couple of years in NYC, I decided it was much nicer to be a poor writer there than in the Big Apple and came back. It was then I met my wife and that was that. I was an only child and my parents were each the black sheep of their families while my wife was Marietta born and well equipped with parents and brothers and sisters here.

You asked if I still consider myself a Canadian. Perhaps part of it is growing up just before and during WWII. My Canadian roots do run deep. My great-great-grandfather commanded a regiment of soldiers who had fought, as he did, at the Battle of Waterloo which garrisoned Quebec City in in case another War of should come down the line. Many of these soldiers settled in Durham county where he became Sheriff. His son published an Ottawa newspaper and represented Carlton county in the legislature, which he opposed.

His son, my grandfather, looked good on a horse and served with a militia regiment during the Second Riel Rebellion.

The blood in the film was good, not as much as I'd want but it was good! The favourite part I liked was when the clown got crushed by the rubbish lorry compactor! But it was a pretty good film I'd recommend a watch to!

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Coulrophobics beware and coulrophiles rejoice - it may not be a particularly original film, but it's well executed no pun intended , great fun and thoroughly enjoyable. ClownTown was clearly shot on a very low budget, but still manages to deliver a well crafted homage to those much loved straight-to-video slashers of the early 80s.

The camera-work, lighting, direction, soundtrack - especially the soundtrack - all manage to beautifully re-create a wonderfully evocative early John Carpenter feel as the film reliably works its way through various well worn horror genre tropes. Is it staggeringly original? Is it immaculately acted? But it is a well-crafted and unpretentiously entertaining B movie - and there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, I really wish I could have seen this at a drive-in, preferably on a hot summer night, somewhere around There isn't anything truly terrible here, apart from maybe some of the effects.

However it is also completely paint-by-numbers and there is nothing that stands out even a little, which is pretty bad for a killer clown movie. Have you seen Terrifier?

Now that is memorable, although he is arguably a mime. There just wasn't enough effort put into making an original and fun film and instead this comes off as people who just wanted to make a movie, and they did that, and I'm sure it was a lot of fun to make, but none of that translates to the viewer. Overall I'd give this one a pass, there is nothing you haven't seen before and it never falls into 'so bad, it's good' territory. Traveling to a nearby concert, a group of friends get stranded in a remote, desolate town with another pair of travelers and being chased by a gang of deranged, homicidal clowns determined to kill them one-by-one and must find a way to stop them and get out alive.

This here turned out to be quite the enjoyable effort. One of the more engaging efforts to this one is the way it manages to work out the group getting trapped at the town and setting up their inevitable being hunting down. Going for the group getting lost and then purposefully directed to their hunting grounds where the first incidents give this such a great starting point for the action to come later on.

The groups' first encounter on the streets of the abandoned town where the near-accident leads into the clowns emerging and beating down the first of the group is a nice beginning, and leading into the ambush in the junkyard as well as the eventual escape gives the film a great sequence. The multitude of chases and the rather brutal action that emerges inside the abandoned facility where the great chases down in the bathrooms or the endless hallways lead into some really fun and exciting scenes of the clowns hunting them down, and the brawl out on the rooftop is exceptionally good which has a lot to like about it.

The film's best action scenes in the finale really work nicely when they're captured and forced to brawl with the remaining gang of clowns makes for a rather fun time overall here, and once it gets to the big final escape here really gives this one some fun and somewhat chilling scenes that work rather nicely overall here. Alongside the brutal, graphic kills and the rather creepy look for the various clowns, these here hold this up over its minor flaws. The biggest issue is the fact that the simplistic story offers nothing about what's actually happening here. While the group is thrown right in with their encounters against the clowns, we get nothing about what's the point of being hunted or how the whole affair got started with a lame opening that gets tied into the rest of the story in a throwaway line that doesn't connect at all, and the reasoning for the whole story is really underwhelming.

The other issue here is the fact that while the clowns look threatening, it's not that hard to laugh them off as lame as the fact that taking them on as a group would probably have saved themselves a lot of trouble against what they're trying to do and it really doesn't help this one much. Otherwise, it's not that bad of an effort. That slogan goes for a lot of horror slashers, most of them are slightly guilty. But this story and the characters are beyond ridiculous. The opening scene is - unfortunately- the best part.

A Dirge For Clowntown

A babysitter is at the Strode's residence while watching a TV news reporter named Weathers. Any horror fan can appreciate the nod to classics like "Halloween" and "Scream". The fun stops right there when the leading cast is introduced including a blond girl who is certainly no actress but only hired for her rack. You know you're in trouble when the last name of the director is also spotted several times in the cast and production crew. Anyway, four friends wait in a spooky town for a total stranger to bring one of the girl's phone.

They wait for hours even though they're already late for the concert and the fact that the town seems abandoned, which doesn't seem to bother them at all.

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When the killer clowns arrive they're saved by an old hermit who hides them and calmly starts making dinner. There are killer clowns out there but life goes on, right? The clowns aren't scary, just painted faces and not menacing or convincing because of the bad acting even behind the painted faces that is..

The end reveals that the local sheriff is involved but since he's the one who told them to go there in the beginning of this wretched tale, it's insulting that it's supposed to be a twist. Some gore but hardly worth mentioning and even for fans of the genre I'm one of them it's a total letdown. Way too many bad films have been released the last 2 years and this is one of them. Instead of being scared, I laughed. It's sad really how they actually tried to make the movie scary, it would of made a lot more sense if it was a comedy.

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Stay away from this garbage. Of course can't be sure if the persons responsible for this movie have some urinary problems hopefully not cancer but no other explanation I can think of for the constant references to urination, people peeing, scenes with urinals, women and men discussing their urination. It is all very strange. As for the movie itself, found it entertaining and with decent production values. Still, all this talk about peeing and pissing is odd, at least in my humble opinion.

Perhaps for teenagers this is an "in" thing, I don't know. Clown Town was a good movie, I just barely watched it and I have to say it was pretty chilling and freaky. An entire town taken over by a bunch of freaky clowns is a chilling thought no doubt. The story goes like this, a group of four friends, two couples that is are going on a trip to a concert.

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