Contents:
Bethany joins Rachel to talk about some universal truths of motherhood: It's been a long time since Chuck came on the podcast. Bethany and Chuck ramble on about living at a ski resort year-round, the quality of Ralph Lauren and Phat Farm shirts, Chris Brown's two-head, why Subarus are better than helicopters, the pain of having mock-able last names, and Bethenny Frankel's hideously jacked-up face. Oh, and Chuck wri Jon introduces Bethany to the Missed Connections section of Craigslist, but that quickly devolves into trolling the crazier Roanoke personal ads.
Chris Weddle returns with another installment of The Twitter Game. This time, we discover which Hills castmember is into geocaching, what a "spelling area" is, Ryan Seacrest's perfect 5 o'clock shadow, Weddle's Brandon Boyd impression, why Bethany wants to give John Mayer an enema, and, of course, full frontal psychological nudity. Anna takes her maiden podcast voyage to talk about why baby showers are sexist and insufferable, but then offers a 4-point plan to change all baby showers for the better forever.
Also, we have shoutouts to some previous podcasts, a little LeBron talk, and the worst lyric from any song ever. NOTE -- audio error fixed…. BWB is back with another in our series of tales of crappy customer service. Alan and Bethany talk about the joys of having awesome, witty comebacks to someone who gives you attitude during poor customer service.
Alan shares the best story of yelling at a hookah bar waittress in the street that you'll hear all week! Air Guitar Champ Jon Kirby is back to tell us about all the other non-Dokken free stuff that comes his way. He's like a magnet for free things. He tells Bethany about getting free DVDs from disgruntled employees, why DJs play the same songs over and over, scouring the parking lot for pennies, and getting saved while very, very drunk. Better late than never! Prithu drops by to tell the harrowing tale of a grown man putting a hit out on a little league football player.
A box of Upper Deck baseball cards. Along the way, hear why Upper Deck made for a better bounty than Topps or Fleer, check out the lameness of the Great American Tap-Off, learn about off-season condi Last week, Bethany and the entire BWB crew were sick as dogs, but we're back with a vengeance this week! Weddle has scoured Twitter for the best celebrity tweets twats? Play along at home! Jon joins Bethany to talk about his performance in a recent Air Guitar contest.
Click here to see Jon's air guitar performance. Bethany and Ed smash Margie's record. Bethany, Wes, and Tripp talk about their recent trip to Las Vegas. He talks to Bethany about them, in turn humanizing them and forgiving them their obnoxiousness. Bethany summarizes some of today's and yesterday's TV shows using four words. A day late, but NOT a dollar short!
Bethany, Tripp, and Chris update us on the overeager neighbors described in Neighbor Favors 8 months ago. Jet-setter guest Alan has taken us on his trips before, to Canada and Las Vegas. Now, he's going down the Kentucky Bourbon Trail, and he's taking all of you along for the ride via the magic of your imaginations. Ben shares experiences from almost a decade of working in retail aka "Indentured Servitude".
Bethany and Weddle again explore the fascinating man that is John Mayer. If you missed it or want a refresher, check out the first discussion. Bethany discusses her favorite tax preparation company. NOTE -- The audio is now fixed! We had some errors with the mp3 encoding last time, cutting out chunks of Alan's track including his lovely singing voice. If you downloaded this podcast already, erase that old copy and get this one! Bethany takes some feedback about her "worst songs of the decade" podcast, then A Ben shares his theory about Brittany Murphy's death not drugs!
This is easily Bethany's hardest-hitting, most confrontational interview to date. Blake joins Bethany after a 3 years of living in Tonga, working with the Peace Corps. They talk about the right way to say "Tonga," mildly narcotic mashed root drinks, the South Pacific Bible Belt, Dan Savage, the "third gender" of fakaleiti, the ironic intolerance of social workers, and how to smoke cigarettes without becoming addicted.
Bethany and Weddle debate the worst songs of the 's thus far. Suffice it say, Weddle's list is ridiculous; and, true to form, Bethany makes an ass of herself by nominating some 90's songs and being an overall tool. Alan comes back with another travelogue, this time about his various roadtrips through Canada.
Learn about how to get through the border crossing with no passport, what the hell poutine is, the problems with the Canadian interstate, the Canadian Candy Challenge, and the best place in Canada to buy Scottish flags. A show about Christmas traditions, and why everyone should hate party mix. Bethany, Aimee, and Danny discuss Christmas songs, Aimee's lack of holiday spirit, and the annoying features of kids' toys. Courtney returns to go through this month's Cosmo with Bethany and Brian. They discuss dudes' "v"s, whether Fergie and Sarah Jessica Parker are broke, round-bottomed shoes, and how to wake up a passed-out drunk with bartenders' tools.
Jon and Lisa join us to talk about Jon's knack for getting free stuff in return for lackluster customer service. V expert Courtney is on hand to talk about the original V miniseries, the dude who played the Beastmaster, and the problems with the current V on ABC. Keith and Bethany discuss day-after-Thanksgiving shopping strategies, the madness of a shopping mob, and the logistics of camping out in front of a Target in the bitter cold with your spouse. Oh, and because you demanded it, more talk about sheriffs! Bet and Tripp muse on Roanoke happenings.
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Erin brings BWB back to its roots. Weddle and Bethany discuss someone's crazy new girlfriend. Alan joins Bethany for the recounting of his recent sleepless trip the the west coast. Highlights include seeing Charles Barkley, sitting in a sports book for 12 hours many of which involved no sports at all , and a medical marijuana dispensary. I never wanted a new car. Until Christmas Eve Luckily, no one was hurt. I am grateful for that because there were no witnesses.
Yeah, sometimes I really hate living in the city. The police finally came and joked about Abby not wearing her seat belt in the back seat. Tom and I stood in the cold and watched them tow her away. I cried, sure I would never see her again. Then I spent the whole evening on the phone with the insurance company.
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Here is a helpful tidbit for you. It has no bearing on liability for them. So take my advice. I was lucky to talk to an agent who was from DC and was familiar with the intersection, so when I told him what happened he could picture it and declared me not at fault. Otherwise, things could have been painful.
Ultimately, I got a great quote thanks Geico! Well, new to me.
Greta the Jetta is basically a slightly newer, German version of Penny. But a piece of my heart will always belong to my first true car love. This conversation can only go one of about three ways. Also, you will no longer be getting money for your missing teeth. Not at your age anyway, there will be plenty of time for that in your twenties. On second thought, this is exactly what my mom probably did. Ok, now I get it. Yes, I do overanalyze everything like this. Alabama , high school , reunion. I was invited to join a facebook group a couple months ago in anticipation of my ten year high school reunion…………..
It seems that next May we will throw a fete in celebration of the class of We are pretty awesome. I took a different track than most of the folks from my high school. I moved from Alabama to D. A lot of my high school classmates are married with multiple kids.
Dear God, these people are going to eat me alive. In high school, things start to simmer down. After I embraced my nerdiness, I ended up with the best set of friends anyone could ask for. I was in the band, the math team, the flag corps, and I graduated second in my class. So now I only really have fond memories of high school — football games, learning to drive, my first kiss, throwing parties to watch the Disney classic Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century That actually happened and the party was a huge hit, thankyouverymuch.
Maybe I blocked some things out. My parents also got divorced and my grandmother died. I graduated with about people. Now we are all on facebook or twitter or in the blogosphere. Their kids are adorable. They went into careers I might never have expected. They support interesting causes and do interesting things. They are crafty and creative.
They have become interesting adults. A gorgeous, wonderful, friendly place that I miss all the time. So having more connections just reminds me of home now, and I really appreciate that. Also, there are whispers and rumors of another voyage to Hawaii for me and Tom. So while I think Alabama is one of the most beautiful places on Earth, a trip to the Heart of Dixie is currently second on my priority list when the islands are calling my name.
I want to see all these people face-to-face. See if our online connections can translate in real life. See those cute kids. Because I think, after ten years, we really have grown up. Also, I think this is probably the last time I ever wore a halter top God, I'm a weirdo. Ok, that sounds a little messed up I know. Which, by the way, is basically the greatest bar on earth. My mom is mad funny. I call her — because I have her cell number obviously — before we come over and she reserves a table for us.
Everyone else in the bar was SO jealous. So we were talking about funerals. The DJ would play tons and tons of 80s music, interspersed only with a little country music. Then I thought that was really kind of dick of me. You guys should save that money and buy a house or get a law degree or something. That shit is hard. So here is my request. Throw a party, throw a fit, throw a banana. I f-ing HATE bananas. But I want people to walk out of said event saying one of two things.
So start thinking about that. Ok, if you have to have the box, whatever. So just wrap me in a sheet and throw me in the ground. Not forcing the earth to swallow my formaldehyde-soaked body will be a sort of green redemption. Emphasis on sort of. Zabs, I was going to say that I wanted to make sure you bury me in some really great pink shoes, but then I changed my mind.
Buy them for you. Then get your hair cut. Then throw me in the hole barefoot. Because I will haunt you until you die…. So remember yesterday when I said I wish Tom would come home and start driving me crazy again? So I took the ten mile trek back around BWI, which is a deceptively large airport. And assholey is totally.
The boy is not great with communication. So really he screwed himself. So I got over it. Well I guess I suck at blogging. Mary does a much better job here. Plus, the picture of the three of us on the green couch is awesome. Tom has been gone for the past three days. He went on a man-cation, which he definitely needed and deserved.
So he booked it and then left like a week later, also known as this Tuesday. So I missed that. Then last night I went to dinner with a friend and that was cool and after two glasses of wine, I was actually asleep at midnight so it was ok. And also because Abby is kind of forlorn without him. Hence why she is always trying to pull me over. This means it is birthday month, Turkey month, and pre-Christmas month.
The only thing better than October and Halloween and the beginning of fall is the continuation of fall and two months of continuous holidays and treats and friggin presents people. Start planning your gifts. How can you be anti-Christmas any time of the year? It makes no sense to me. Not once have I ever heard Thanksgiving get pissed off because I was excited about Christmas before it got its turn.
I tell it every year when I gorge myself to the point of bursting. But eight days of presents sounds awesome! I say you can start singing awesome songs whenever you want, and so can I. And then I start judging you. And writing long posts about it. And people get bored. And we all lose. Sing some Rudolph and get excited people, because Christmas is on the way! Florida , friends , gainesville , Gators , HA , happiness , weddings. In short, my amazing friend Mandy got married a little over a week ago! It was a bit of a bittersweet college reunion…nay, revival of sorts. Most, not all — but most, of my favorite people were there.
Enter Alex and Megan and my life was complete. Poor Frank had to go to the airport 3 times in one day, but I hope it was all worth it. We drove to Gainesville on Friday, checked out campus, made it to our old haunts, and joined in on the awesome fun of the Mandy-Patrick weekend bonanza. I hope the bride and groom had as good a time as I did. I laughed so hard all weekend that I developed new wrinkles. I can't even make this up. Oh yeah, it was also Auburn-Florida weekend.
I don't like to talk about that part. Here are my conflicting toenails, which are super cute no matter who wins! I can't even describe how happy I am this picture turned out. I love you, Sarah. One day soon I will write about the Wild Irish Rose. Until then, just know that your life is not complete without hobo wine. Lots and lots of hobo wine. I promise we passed on healthy traditions too. They just aren't as awesome and fun. Not so long ago, we were at a different HA wedding. A lot of the actual wedding pictures are blurry. I'm grabbing Mandy's boob here. Yeah, this is what I do at weddings.
I know when I first moved to D. I was jealous of my college friends still back at UF. This past weekend though, I might have had a bit of nostalgic relapse. I know that if I somehow ended up back in Gainesville it would never be the same, and in fact might be horribly depressing without my friends there.
Instead they would be replaced by 18 year olds. But for a couple of days, I got to laugh and dance and sing with my favorite people in one of my favorite places in the world and relive some of the best moments of my life. It was truly incredible. I have new laugh lines because I spent so much time smiling and giggling.
I was just happy to live in that moment with them. Happy to share our memories and joys and excitement. Happy to just be with one another. Happy to stay there in that moment, for as long as we could anyway.