How Do We Love?


Remember the pair bonding Nance mentioned? Well, it happens for a reason.

When people fall in love, they go into a state of limerence," she says, which is a fancy way of saying infatuation or obsession. This happens because our brains and hormones go wild when faced with a sincere love interest. The good feeling is a reward that makes us want more," Nance explains. Although serotonin levels are variable per person, they can also go down during the head-over-heels process.

As a result, "Decreased serotonin may produce OCD symptoms of constant thoughts of the other person," says Dr. Occasionally, eyes meet across the room and the rest is history. For most of us, however, falling in love is more complicated. Sometimes, the person who wants to be loved is unconsciously getting in their own way.

When you feel lovable you project that out and other people notice," Palmer says. The needier they appear, the less chance there is for someone to enter their life to fulfill those needs," she adds, noting that it's critical to "love yourself without being dependent on other people's opinions. Once you're ready to love yourself and are open to outside love, the rest is timing, chemistry and common ground.

Although the old saying "opposites attract" remains prevalent, it's actually false in most cases. At the end of the day, love is relative, so don't expect your relationship to look, feel or act the same as past experiences or like those of your friends. Ever looked back on a teenage romance and wondered what you were thinking? You're not the only one. Love at First Sight? Kiss Your Way to Good Health. A Message for the One You Love.

Why do fools and everyone else fall in love? Consider whether the person is worth your love or not. Love requires a significant emotional investment. While loving someone is not always a matter of choice, it may be worth taking a look at the connection you have with a given person and thinking how loving them might affect you. While this step may sound like a warning, it's actually a positive step toward loving them. If you struggle with feeling love, justifying it on a logical basis can be a positive step forward.

Refusing to be realistic about your feelings may be a sign of infatuation, so be warned.

Open yourself to the possibility of being hurt. Defence mechanisms may arise as a way to protect us from the possibility of loving someone.

Save Your Results?

In order to love fully, you need to push past this doubt and realize that love is worth all of the risks you take in pursuing it. Positive self-talk is a good way to get past this fear.

  • Sarge Gets a Timeout (Humorous chapter books for children ages 9-12) (Sarge In Charge)?
  • Unspent Time.
  • The Spirit of Zoroastrianism (The Spirit of ...).
  • Father Lucky Trust in Jesus.

If you are ever in doubt, don't be afraid to tell yourself aloud: If you're able to train yourself to let go of that, you'll be much better for the long run. Feel love as an addiction. You have probably heard the metaphor comparing love to a drug, but as far as brain chemistry goes, that is somewhat true. If you focus on all of the good things about someone, you will become increasingly excited to see them again.

Love as an addiction should manifest itself as missing that person terribly while you're apart. Celebrate your love's success without jealousy. This is not so often the case with love. If you truly love someone, you feel happy for their happiness, and don't let your own jealousies into the mix. Though your feelings towards yourself may have nothing to do with the way your perceive someone you love, the fact remains that you cannot give yourself completely over to someone unless you feel secure and stable with who you are.

Loving yourself means recognizing your good qualities, and acknowledging that those are the things that define you as a person. Express your love in words. Arguably the most obvious way of showing love is through words of affirmation. This applies to love in friendships as much as romantic arrangements. Often, saying "I love you" says more than most anything else, if only for the fact that people have placed so much emphasis on those three words. Use physical touch to your advantage.

How to Love Someone (with Pictures) - wikiHow

Touch can be used to a wide variety of positive effects. Depending on the type of connection you have with someone you love, physical affection may come naturally, and it may be reciprocated in turn. Physical touch feels good, and helps promote good feelings between the both of you. A handshake or a hug can demonstrate platonic love. Make a habit of gift-giving. While words go a long way, a gift is a concrete sign of your affection.

Gifts can be as small or as big as you want. The important thing is that the gift was given with sincere feelings behind it. The types of gifts you might give depends on the type of love you're expressing: Flowers are a very common gift to give to a romantic lover. Less symbolic gifts, like concert tickets, may be given to friends or family. Small thoughtful gifts, like homemade cards or picked flowers, can mean a lot to anyone.

Why do we fall in love?

Spend quality time with them. Try to eliminate any distractions coming between you and your loved one. Avoid using your phone or electronics to make your loved one feel special.

Perform acts of service for your loved one. Sometimes, doing chores or helping out around the house will show someone that you care and love them. When people first begin to love, they rarely consider the long-term ramifications. It can feel amazing to love someone at first, but the greatest rewards come from a lot of persistence and effort from both sides.

At the end of the day, love is relative, so don't expect your relationship to look, feel or act the same as past experiences or like those of your friends. I would describe my childhood as unsafe. This quiz uses different questions to suit your personal relationship status. If I am honest, I would say my significant other is afraid of me. I often feel unworthy, unlovable, and wonder why I am on this earth. Associate professor of human services and psychology, Beacon College.

Once you have a strong relationship, don't get lazy; feed it every day. Whether that's through repeating the steps or exploring new ways, making love last is very important. If love was thought to be short-lived, it would never feel as powerful as it does. Before anything else, it is important to base your search for answers on a generally agreed-upon definition for the word love.

Love may be casually described as a very strong affection for something or someone, although answers will vary from person to person. Try to put your own definition into words. Because love is something you feel, looking to art and music lets you feel someone else's interpretation directly. The Beatles are a great go-to in this regard, but there are great songs about love from virtually every era and style of music. Writers and philosophers have given many different interpretations of love.

You may want to seek out their opinions if you're having any doubt with your own definition. Consider the different types of love. Love covers a wide variety of positive feelings for an all-encompassing range of human relationships.

The Love Style Quiz

Think of all of the different types of connections you can foster with people. Most connections have the potential for a certain kind of love. A love you have for your parents or your children is distinct from the feelings you would have towards a lover.

It is important to first consider these different types of love, and how they might ideally feel. While it could be categorized endlessly, Ancient Greek philosophers categorized love into four general categories: